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16​-​Bit Piece of Shit

from Scary Melodies by Circus of Dead Squirrels

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lyrics

Here’s to simpler times, high five
Slap my neon Hypercolor tee
Come with me back to the 90s!

It was the summer of ‘93
A hacky sack flapped against my JNCO jeans
Stuck on level 8 of Super Mario 3
All my friends are making fun of me
Not because I suck at games, but because I’m behind
In a console war I’m a senator’s son, I’m sitting on the sideline
Still playing this 8-bit piece of shit like its 1989
Gotta make the switch, Sega Genesis in a new compact design

Genesis does what Nintendon’t
Genesis does what Nintendon’t, no, no, no

I felt like a loser so I made a plan
I traded my Nintendo to the crooks at FuncoLand
I plugged the AV cables into the back of the TV
I popped in Disney’s Aladdin, I’d swear I was watching the movie
Wow the graphics, oh the speed
Sonic flies across the screen high on PCP
Steve Urkel was on the cartoon show
Mario was Captain Lou Albano

Wait, did I make the wrong purchase?
Should I have went for the SNES?
Oh hell no

I want the blood, I want the guts
This isn’t Romper Room, its gruesome blood sport
Give me more pixelated gore

But Mario lives inside my soul
You play one Sonic game, you’ve played them all
America became Donkey Kong Country
It bonked Sega out of the game like TurboGrafx-16

Yoshi’s gonna chew you up and shit you out

Genesis does what Nintendon’t
But Genesis sucks compared to Super Nintendo

32X and Sega CD lead to biblical atrocity
Beware thou enemies thy do not know
For Xbox and PlayStation stole thine show

credits

from Scary Melodies, released January 19, 2022

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Circus of Dead Squirrels Hartford, Connecticut

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